Monday, March 5, 2012

Happy, yet hard....

This has been a very hard post for me to write. Not because I'm not happy, but because this has been a frightening journey. Let me just come out and say it, I'm pregnant! Yeah! Yikes! This should be a very happy moment, but we've suffered 4 miscarriages in the past year and a half and I almost feel that when I tell someone I'm jinxing myself.

I was hoping to upload pictures for you, but yet again, I am ready to throw this computer out the lieu of this i've decided to figure it out later....

Back in December, when we decided to try again, I made the decision that whether we lost, or kept this baby this is the last time I could handle this. When I found out I was pregnant in January, Mark gave me a wonderful blessing that told me to have Faith that the Lord knew what was happening, and His hand is in everything. So, I am choosing not to believe in Jinxes. I am trying to be very excited about all this, and not think about the what if's.

I'm officially 14 weeks this week. I haven't made it this far before. This is supposed to be "over the hump" but as we have no idea why I had a sudden problem having babies, after 3 healthy ones, I don't feel very over the hump!

Anyway, for better or for worse, we are going to be excited! So, to anwer my families questions, No, I have not been sick. Yes, I have been very tired, yes I have headaches every morning, and yes, I can't eat certian foods. sometimes I wish I was violently ill, at least I would know everything is alright! The hardest part has been the hormones, I have been very touchy, and a little cranky, or a lot depending on what time it is, and how much sleep I've gotten! ;) So far for the past 2 months I've managed to avoid my family so it hasn't been very hard to keep secret! I love you all, I'm not avoiding you because I don't love you, I avoided you because I have a hard time keeping a "why I'm getting fat" secret! ;) I am due the first week in september, but will most likley be induced a week early as I have giant fat babies, and we had to with shawn for fear he'd be as huge as Haley! Still, induced a week early he was nearly 9 pounds!

Anyway, thank you for letting me blast you with an e-mailed blog about this, after telling my family and a few friends I have missed a few and hope that no one is upset, I do have, after all "pregnancy brain!". Please be patient for me for the next 7 months!



1 comment:

  1. That is so rough and you are so amazing to keep trying! Look how blessed you are! 3 beautiful children and now a little bean! Congratulations and keep the faith! Happy for you guys!